Well no, let's be honest...it is you.

There is only so long that you can excuse disrespectful, thoughtless, or selfish behaviour. We've all had those defining moments in our private lives that are heralded by an extreme reaction to a seemingly small incident. Whether a dull realization or a cataclysmic explosion, the bigger truth will no longer be denied and the relationship has to change.

Professional relationships are no different. If you are a decent sort, and I pretty much assume that you are, you will give people the benefit of the doubt, offer help when asked, and trust that your professional boundaries and resources will be respected. How disappointing then to encounter individuals who take advantage of your good nature and exploit your willingness to share your time and expertise. Yeah, it's sad. Get over it. If you don't take control of the situation you risk exhaustion, devaluation of your time and expertise, and a potential emotional meltdown.

Take Control Now:

Decide whether to ditch, pause, or scale back the relationship: "My focus is elsewhere right now. You would be better off directing your questions to someone else."

Redefine your boundaries: "The demands on my time are significant and I'm no longer able to accommodate requests for free consultations. Would you like to make an appointment to discuss this at my regular consulting rate?"

Stay the Course: "As I mentioned in our last conversation, I am unable to help you. I have every confidence that you will find someone (some other sucker) who can answer your questions.